Now

I feel like I should care, but I can't. I don't know what I want. What is left to lose or gain? What is the end? Does it even matter? Maybe the worst route is the best way. Maybe I can't be happy. If there is a purpose, a reason, it's running late. I no longer pretend to control my life, nor do I pretend to want to. Just happen. Whatever it is, just happen. Please let something change. I can't wait any longer.