Is Christmas a Holiday? Really? Like Really Really?

So, it's Christmas. Again. And, I'm doing the exact same thing I did last Christmas. I'm at work, taking phone calls from grumpy people who apparently didn't have to work today and apparantly have no family. (Was that mean of me to say?)

Well I'll write more later. Maybe. If you're lucky.

Christopher Walken is still coolest person ever.

Whoopz... didn't post in October. Guess it's time for another update.

Well financially things aren't looking so good, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't look for a job for about three weeks when I thought I was moving, then when I changed my mind I only half-heartedly looked for like two more weeks, then I spent two weeks going through an interview process at wal-mart only to find out they were going to pay me way less than I ever imagined, and now finally I do have a job that's going to pay me well but I don't start until Monday the 12th. I had to basically max out my credit cards to pay bills this month, so hopefully I'll get a paycheck at this job before December 1st or I'm going to be up a creek. On the bright side, I definitely learned a lot of lessons about spending money. Last year I made roughly $28,000 and ended up with nothing to show for it. I am not going to do that again this year. I learned that if I have money I tend to spend it. This time I'm going to set it up so that I automatically have money go into savings, and I'm also going to start making very large car payments. That way I'll only have a little bit of money available to me to play around with, so I won't spend more than that.

Besides financially, life is going pretty good. Got a "workout buddy" and have been working out more. I can shoulder press 140lbs three times now, not bad, not bad. The weather is finally getting nice. It still gets up past 85 during the day but evenings/nights are in the 60's/70's which is great. Also, apparently the plan is that Bill, Jeff, Sam and myself are going to get a house in January. We're going to put a beer tap into a wall in the kitchen. lol. Yeah I'm somewhat of a beer connoisseur now. Once you get used to it, it's actually pretty good. A beer and a sandwich is a good meal. heh.

Not much else new, although I promised Kaleb I'd post a list of my favorite web comics. You should totally check these out when you're bored. They're hilarious.

Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
xkcd
LFG Comic
Red Meat

Did you know a packet of ramen noodles says it has TWO servings?!

Two posts in one month?!



Remember the good ol' days when I posted almost daily but never really said anything important? Well now I post once a month and STILL don't say anything important! Tah-dah! If less bad is better than more bad then I feel I have definitely accomplished something.

So I decided to stay here. Either that or I'm behind Kaleb's couch. If I gain five more pounds I could be both. Ah hah! Hah... hah. 'Cuz we all know I could fit between the couch and the wall. Oh no I didn't!

Sorry my brain keeps wandering. It's 3am. So yeah I stayed here. My last post pretty much sums up why. I moved in with Bill over the last couple days. So far so good. I might have a job at Costco. That's good. Except that it's not full time, and it's seasonal... so in January I'll be let go unless other people quit I guess. Meh. I'll be fine probably no matter what my job is as long as I stop wasting money.

I'm too brain dead to say anything serious. I got an idea! Let's end it with one of the few Mitch Hedberg quotes that don't contain profanity:

You ever see one of those mcdonalds commercials? Mcdonalds commercials always end the same way, they say "prices and participation may vary." I wanna be a stubborn mcdonalds owner. I'll be like "Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti! ...and blankets. But we are not affiliated with that clown, he attracts too many children."

The right to Bear arms.

Indecisiveness is the name of the vice which is getting acquainted with my temples currently. Random sentence structures are cool. Anyway, I figured I should blog about this because it seems that writing helps me decide stuff. Sometimes. Maybe. It either does or does not help. One of the two. I can't decide.

Even though I officially announced I am moving back to South Dakota on Friday... now all of a sudden I am seriously debating changing my mind. I rotate on a daily basis between feeling I am making a good decision and wondering why the heck I'm even considering it. Problem is, I'm supposed to move in two days. I would uh, prefer, to uh, feel confident in my decision before I do one or the other.

I also don't feel I've been given a clear answer from God on this. Why? Probably because it doesn't matter. Whatever I'm supposed to accomplish over the next year may have nothing to do with where I am. I know over the last year God has been working on my character. Learning lessons sucks. (randomize common phrase) Bright the side on (/randomize), I have a slightly less hazed view of what I need to do. It's a start. That's a good thing right?

What I need to do: Make God the center of my life... again
How do I do this: Go to church. Read the Word. Pray. Get involved with a community of Christian friends
Where can I do this: Anywhere
How does this help me decide: It doesn't

Another set of logical thoughts that contradict each other. Let me show you them. (Both are partially my thoughts and partially things people have said.)

Q: So I've been in Arizona a year and haven't gotten my life on track with God. What should I do / what does that mean?

Logical Answer #1: Well obviously you're at the point where you are showing enough maturity to show a little humility. If you fail at something by yourself it is wise to seek help. If your family would help you, that is a good thing. Your relationship with God is more important than anything else, so do whatever it takes to grow. Move back to South Dakota. If God does NOT want you to move back, then it won't work out. God is always watching your back. Besides, friends are temporary and family is forever. You shouldn't make life decisions based on where a few of your friends are.

-VS-

Logical Answer #2: Well obviously this is why God told you to move to Arizona in the first place. God has to break your old character to shape you into the character of Christ, and this is never an easy thing. You are learning that you can not count on the world to keep you focused on God. It never will. Wherever God sends you, you will
have to make that effort yourself. Moving at this point would defeat the purpose of you coming down here. Ever since you decided you were moving back to South Dakota you have felt uneasy about it. You have had to convince yourself every day over and over that it's what you should do. You are not at peace with that decision. The issue is not that you have failed down here, it's that you have not tried. Start going to Church here. Start spending time with God here. God told you to move here, and he will tell you when it's time to move on.

Sigh.

I should stay here. At least for now. Let's make it so that when I do go back to South Dakota it will be triumphant instead of with my tail between my legs.

Alles Klar?

I need to express my thoughts on a certain subject here, but let me preface this by saying this is not targeting any one person. This has come up with many people I know over the last few months. I usually do not say anything. So, here is my opinion. If you decide to let this offend you, then you obviously don't care enough about me to listen to my opinion. That's fine.

Marijuana.

I know many people that smoke marijuana. They enjoy it. They have seen no negative impact on their life because of it. They think that it is absolutely ridiculous that it is illegal, especially when you compare it to alcohol. Alcohol is not only more dangerous to the user, but is more dangerous to other people as well. Many people have died from alcohol poisoning, or have gotten into fights, beat their wives, or killed someone by driving drunk with extremely hindered coordination and reflexes because they were drunk. Marijuana on the other hand, as many tests have indicated, has very little impact on one's driving, there has never been a known case of someone overdosing and dying from it, and there are no known cases of it causing people to be aggressive or violent and harm others. It is not healthy by any means, but not as unhealthy as alcohol or even normal cigarettes which contain numerous toxins. It seems that the only real side effect of marijuana is becoming lazy and hungry, which is not beneficial to the user, but is not dangerous. Many people believe you should have the right to do anything you want to yourself, as long as it does not harm others. In fact, there is a lot of evidence that shows that marijuana helps people cope with chronic pain, and may even help cancer victims live longer. It seems very hippocratic that we as a nation allow alcohol and tobacco, but not marijuana.

HOWEVER...

This country is a democracy, and it's majority rule. The majority of people who vote and run the government, whether they are ignorant or not, right or not, feel that marijuana should be illegal. If you think marijuana should be legal, then why don't you get off your lazy butt and make an effort to spread knowledge and pass legislation to make it legal. Fighting the battle underground and having the rest of the world see you as rebellious druggies who keep getting hauled off to jail is not helping your cause. While marijuana is still illegal, don't do it. If you can never convince the majority to agree with you, well then too bad. You may just have to cope with the idea that people sometimes just plain don't agree. If you insist on using marijuana anyway, that is your choice, however please do not jeopardize my safety and social standing by bringing me into your car or apartment if you have marijuana with you. If I go to jail because YOU had marijuana, I will hurt you.

Beer Good, Fire Bad.

Bob Ross told me to put a happy little bush here...

So with the one exception that it is HOT here things are going very well. It hit 121 degrees the other day. It really makes you question some basic fundamental things about your life, such as:

Why am I here?

Why do I want to live here?

Why do I want to live?

Is that real or a mirage?

Would drowning in ice cream be more or less painful?

Why doesn't anybody pick up all these dead cats?

Besides the heat though, as I said, things are going great. My sales at work are doing a lot better. I'm also not as stressed at work because I managed to convince myself that working at a company which fiercely ravishes every sense of decency and morals you have just to get paid does not necessarily make you a whore. So, I should be getting a bonus check, as long as no one at my work reads this.

On a much lighter side, after a recent scare, my finances are going to be stable, and I will have money saved up by the end of September so that I may do whatever it is I wish to do at the end of my lease, including getting out of Phoenix if I deem it justified.

And on an even lighter side, I may have found the perfect girl. I'm not sure she would appreciate me saying her name on here so I will refrain for now. Bill would approve because she likes gun and alcohol, my sister would approve because she has a heart for God and she's kind of a hippy, my mom would approve because she wants grandkids, Jamon and Jessi would approve because they know how badly I need to get married so I can get laid, and Kaleb would approve because she doesn't have a major mental defect so I am not taking any fish out of the pool Kaleb fishes in if you get my drift, and most importantly I approve because she has a nice tush.

Any questions?

New Beginning

The few friends I have that actually read my old blog will notice that this is new. The last few days have been very interesting. To sum up what it's taken me nine months to figure out, my first semester of college I found out who I was, and since I've moved to Arizona I've stopped being who I am, that being replaced with very bad things. It would not take one more than a minute reading my old blog to get the main plotline to my last hundred posts: I'm constantly depressed and constantly talking about how I want to change.

Well... I did.

Me turning depressed happened so slowly I really didn't realize what was happening. The other day it actually dawned on me that I am miserable beyond all reason, to the point that I was wondering why God would let me end up like this. I ended up living the same life I lived in high school. No friends, no relationships, feeling like crap spiritually and physically all the time, doing nothing but working sleeping and playing videogames. So I sat there, awed by my slowness of the catching on, and decided to think back to what my life was like when I was actually happy. It took me three seconds. I was going to church, I was being social, I was going to the gym, and I was going to school. I felt like every day I was growing or achieving something, and that I wasn't wasting time, watching my life pass by not being the way I wanted it. I wasn't skinny, and I still didn't have a girlfriend. But I did have God, and I was finding and becoming who I really was.

Then I realized it would take me one week to be there again.

The last few days, I have spent time being social with NEW friends (one of which is a very fascinating female whom I may describe more later), spending time with God, eating healthy, and changing my attitude about my job. I already feel amazing. I DO have a reason to grow because I DO have a purpose. The first part of which is so important I can't describe is getting myself back to where I need God again! I have to fall back in love with God! This is my purpose. This is why I am alive. This is what I am in Arizona to do. Nobody down here even knows me. They see a CHILD who never stops complaining, who never shuts up about big plans and big dreams but never DOES anything.

That is what this blog will be for. This blog will not be about plans, or complaining, or dreaming. This blog will not rant on about my job or my video games or whatever. This will be about action and growth and love and everything that represents who I truly am. I am a knight, a son of a great God whose kingdom is at war, and I have a freaking job to do.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's way past my bedtime because I actually went to church. Goodnight.